Parental Detective Pillows

Missing.

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

'If we don't make a sound, my mom can hear it.'

"Mom knows I'm faking and won't let me skip school. She's got a Sixth Sense of Sickness."

Barks in code.

A boy acting suspiciously

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

$1: Family Secrets

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"Now how did she know?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'

Wanted dog! reward!

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Cookie Thief

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

"What happened to what cat?"

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

"Heyyy! Where the hell did you learn that trick?"