Pet Parent Detective Pillows

"What happened to what cat?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

Barks in code.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Cat Nip.

"He was a very good boy."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."