Playful Pet Detective Pillows

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Barks in code.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"Now how did she know?"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Fido and Fifi

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'The butler did it.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"