Pet Parent Detective Gifts

"What happened to what cat?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

Barks in code.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"He was a very good boy."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

Raw food, after you leave for work.