Parental Gladiators Pillows

'Let's get ready for daycare!!'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

I'm Spartacus.

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

Baby Footballer

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

An older white male executive is barely hanging onto his career

"Isn't that adorable?"

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

It's payback time at the sadistic dentist's office.

'Better put this on. . . health and safety.'

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.

I got a hundred in school today... 50 in history, and 50 in maths!

Lawn & Garden Supply. Sod. They're arguing over the last piece of sod we have in stock. I hate these turf battles.

"And these are the twins, Buzz and Buzz-off."

Still working from Hell

Going Shopping Together.

"Accepting the applause for Mr. Fontana—Mr. Fontana's mother."

"Congratulations! It's a doctor!"

Whatever you do, don't ask him about his children… God's wallet.

'After the day I've had at the office, I'm expected to stir my own tea!'

'It's all over! Warm up the bus!'

The Baby in the Theatre