Gridiron Gladiators Pillows

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'Get out of bounds, Johnson! Turf shark!'

'Can I have my quarterback now?'

'Spit him out, Vince! This is just practice. Save the rough stuff for the game.'

the End Zone

Prize vegetables.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

American Football.

I'm Spartacus.

Biker Lawn Mower

Run, Mike, Run!

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Hear me, Graduates!

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"You've bust your hump."

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Human males marking territory.

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"