Gridiron Gazers Pillows

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

Football team discussions.

Input From The Front Office

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Mark Gastineau

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

American Football.

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

Punishment for the kicker.

Snowman Football Fan.

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

Before instant replay.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.