Gridiron Gazers Gifts

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!

'Teenagers!'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

Football team discussions.

Input From The Front Office

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

Mark Gastineau

American Football.

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Football.

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Snowman Football Fan.

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Before instant replay.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'