Gridiron Gang Gifts

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

Football team discussions.

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

Mark Gastineau

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Snowman Football Fan.

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Before instant replay.

Vikings to the Super bowl.

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,