Paranoia Protector Gifts

'It's better than Prozac. I no longer worry about the ozone layer, sulfur dioxide, ultraviolet rays...'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

No Immediate Danger

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Privacy Conference Security

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

'More government surveillance!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Privacy - Surveillance

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Statue of Security

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

Domestic Spying Drones

Hidden Facebook Features

"I only told a few friends."

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

Facial Recognition

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

'I have to answer this e-mail from the boss. Can you wait in the hallway for a few minutes? I need my cyberspace.'