Paralegals Gifts

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

Changing Minds

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

Barristers

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'