Paralympians Gifts

'Maybe you should lighten your loads.'

"OK, ready to go again?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Girl in Yellow Jumper

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Iron Man Contest

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

Office Safety.

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

"Are you not infotained?!!"

'Jason and the Argosnaughts.'

Wheelchair Basketball

Arm wrestling champion. (man in wheelchair).

Monster chariot races

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

"How do you plan to get up enough speed to lift off?"

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

World's Worst Triathlete.

"Trust me. This is the last place they'll find us."

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

"He tested positive to Lourdes water!"

Gingerbread man runs with false legs.

Gold for blind pjotr at the paralympics

"I know we decided this was immoral, but no one has called me on it in a while, so I think I'll stick it out through the season."

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Hmmm..."

'I made it! I made it! I'm into the Quarter Finals!!'