Paper Crumpler Gifts

"How's the short biographical statement coming?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Storm in the out tray

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

In, out, shake it all about.

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

The Affordable Shredder

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Tree Funeral

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

In and In Too Deep Desk Organizers.

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

Whelmed and Over-Whelmed

Bureau of the Damned

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

Work avalanche

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

Depressing Company Departments.

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'Sometimes I wonder what I's do without you!'