Pantomime Player Gifts

'O.K. let's see, it's a book, a film, it's two words...Could it be Robinson Crusoe again Graham?'

"Extreme miming"

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"A little help, please."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Cinderella waits at bus stop.

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Mime father in the delivery room.

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

Wordplay: Pantomime.

Quiet Quitting

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

'And you dolls are the only friends I need to keep me... hey, where are you going?'

"When I said tart up the presentation, I meant the slides..."

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

Henri Matisse

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"He was famed for his work in Pantomime"

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'As marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition, my advice is that you trade ends occasionally.'

Panto Horse at the Races