Pantomime Performer Gifts

"I used to be a GP, but I wanted a job with a bit more status...'

"Of course we should have women boxers in Britain...I mean, where else can they do panto?!"

"Horse's ass is not just your job description, Larry."

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).

Mime on invisible phone in restaurant.

"Extreme miming"

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Cinderella waits at bus stop.

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Finger puppets in church.

Mime father in the delivery room.

Ventriloquist Audition

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

Wordplay: Pantomime.

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

Mime Flash Mobs.

Quiet Quitting

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

'I know I've been sitting here all morning...We're playing doctors and I'm in the waiting room.'

'Remember me?'

"They're on a silent retreat."

Mime supplies.

"When I said tart up the presentation, I meant the slides..."

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

'I think it's some kind of power point presentation.'

Yale shadow

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

"He was famed for his work in Pantomime"

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'