Pamper Queen Gifts

Being Pampered.

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Spa

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Pampered and poodled.

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

The Cat Spa

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"That's just not the real me."

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

"Executive shoeshine and bald head buff, sir?"

"He wants a second opinion."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'When I had my baby I learned the meaning of 24/7.'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Don't make me look! How do you like my prom dress? Don't make me look! Chill, dad, it's Nana's old dress. It isn't revealing, Honey. It's no the old dress. It's my old little girl I can't look at!

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

The Manicure.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

"Emily! Your cup runneth over!"

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

Happy National No Housework Day

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

High School Prom Expenses

Rubber Duck Has Made A Nest

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

Chill Out ZoneShell Out Zone.

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"