Pampering Professional Gifts

Happy National No Housework Day

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Spa

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Why Poodles Become Killers

The Cat Spa

Loofah Lady

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dogs can dream too.

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

Being Pampered.

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

The Manicure.

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

The Clipping

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."