Paint Schemer Gifts

Ceiling Paint

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's a setup."

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

"Harold finds painting very therapeutic."

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

Valentine Comix

Paint by numbers stained glass windows

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Boy standing on 'The Joy of Sex' book.

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

"I was thinking more of a leap-year wedding."

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

Paint charming.

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

Spray painter.

Fake it with Flowers.

'Er . . . wouldn't it be simpler to have your glasses tinted, dear?'

"So, if you could date anyone, who would it be?"

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

Paint by Numbers.

The Groundhog didn't see his shadow...because the superdome lights were out.

"Before I say yes, my dad, who is a notary, wants to ask you about your plans for our future."

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'

'Oh no! It's you again, madam!'

Art Exhibit - show my parents the art degree wasn't a waste.

'Your teacher called and said the school concert tickets you sold me for $20 were free.'

"I ask for nothing but your company."

"Now, do you see why I discourage employee fraternization, Tom!"

"I love the way her eyes look right past you as they search out the most important person in the room."