Plot Schemer Gifts

Better than Chekhov

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

"Do you call this a business plan?"

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"It's a setup."

Ceiling Paint

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

"We're fighting them in zone A, they're our allies in zone B, and we don't know what to do in zone C."

'Remember to be nice to people on your way up. You might need them to do hard time for you later.'

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'Oh, that's Dan, the congressman's right AND left hand man'

"Boss, there's a rumor going around that someone lost a $1,000 bill in the cafe. There are like 200 people out there." "Interesting. And I assume they're all looking for the $1,000 bill. I assume they don't want anyone else to know about it before they find it." "I assume each of them is buying our food and drink so the others won't suspect they're here with ulterior motives." "I wonder who could have possibly spread such a rumor in the first place?" "Very bad man."

"Just take the free kick, and stop wasting time."

"We love your results. We're just a weeny bit concerned about your methods."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'Why we have architects'

"Yes, I gave him enough rope, and NO, he didn't hang himself!"

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"Better use the ink wedge."

'Boswell, it's been brought to my attention that your hidden agenda is in direct conflict with my hidden agenda.'

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

COWS: Cow chess

"Taking credit for somebody else's work? Why, Ferguson – that's how I started out."

"Not only are you a cheat, the instructions to this Sim Game describes you as duplicitous, mendacious, disingenuous..."