Paint-by-numbers Hobbyist Gifts

Paint by numbers stained glass windows

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Staff Yearbook

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Warning: Math Ahead!

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"My method of painting is pointillism."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Reign Man

Hazards of mouse painting

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

Artist Retrospective.

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Alberto Giacometti.

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

Ceiling Paint

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

'You never smile at me like that!'

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."