Paint-by-number Aficionado Gifts

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

The Life of Pi

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

Staff Yearbook

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Warning: Math Ahead!

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Hazards of mouse painting

Reign Man

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

A Christmas tree self portrait

"My method of painting is pointillism."

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

Artist Retrospective.

Two New Paintbrushes

Alberto Giacometti.

Eugene Delacroix

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'