Painting Enthusiast Gifts

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'A shelfish portrait'

Artist Retrospective.

"I much prefer his earlier work."

"How can you be sure it's a fake professor?"

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Nighthawks

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Artist in Residence

'Bacon? It's more like squashed sausages!'

'If you ask me, there's already a pandemic of bad painting.'

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'Self portrait, is it?'

Hazards of mouse painting

'You never smile at me like that!'

'Notice how the eyes follow you out of the room.'

'Okay, so I lost my job with the investment bank. At least I've got my artistic abilities to fall back on.'

'You can't quit now -- I'm almost done!'

Cut out and keep your own Van Gogh.

Caution Wet Painting.

Marooned Painter

Portrait painting.

"Everything I say to them goes in one ear and out the other....except for the Van Gogh boy."

Alberto Giacometti.

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"Lead paint - they're being recalled."

'Don't touch. The paint's still wet.' - 'Don't worry, I'm wearing gloves.'