Painting Aficionado Gifts

"It's nice, but I never smile like that. I smile like this."

Paint pot - "It does exactly what it says on the tin."

Artist painting nude.

Cubist artist paints a realistic portrait of a cubist model

"This great painter saw people as they really were."

The Impact of Art on Society

"Same time tomorrow, Daphne?"

"It'll never sell!"

"This painting's a knockout!"

"It's Queen Victoria in acrylics."

Summer Exhibition

A bomber dropping paintings "Art Bombing"

"You paid 1000 words for this picture!?"

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Artist painting a dancer.

'Why are you all of a sudden painting a huge knife dripping with blood?'

Yep, the owners said this entire fence's made of real ivory,,, What color ya got there Red Well I'd say use this white,,,

'Did you know your fly was open?'

Art - Yes.

Otto Dix

Eugene Delacroix

'Admit it - you've gone off me haven't you.'

Two New Paintbrushes

A Christmas tree self portrait

"Maybe you could be an artist? Here's a test. Just draw this picture of Luca Signorelli's 'The Damned Cast into Hell' and send it in to see if you have talent."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Paul Klee

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.