Number Aficionado Gifts

"It's me, '9' from yoga class."

You idiot. You skipped 13.

'Our accountant says we're going broke. What should we do?' - 'Hire an economist. They also get it wrong.'

The Life of Pi

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Staff Yearbook

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

But under a different accounting convention ...

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Warning: Math Ahead!

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

Reign Man

Pork Bellies.

"Sinead?!"

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

'My other baby is Mercedes'

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

57th Birthday balloons

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."

'You're not just a number to me, Abercrombie -- you're an irrational number!'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

Three steps to turn around the economy.

'The good news is we've readjusted our expectations.'

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

'I used to be dull and boring then, one day, I discovered accountancy.'

"Tonight we're going to let the statistics speak for themselves."

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."