Number Aficionado Gifts

"It's me, '9' from yoga class."

'Our accountant says we're going broke. What should we do?' - 'Hire an economist. They also get it wrong.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Staff Yearbook

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Warning: Math Ahead!

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Reign Man

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

"Sinead?!"

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."

57th Birthday balloons

'You're not just a number to me, Abercrombie -- you're an irrational number!'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

Three steps to turn around the economy.

'The good news is we've readjusted our expectations.'

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

"Tonight we're going to let the statistics speak for themselves."

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

'How would you describe yourself?'

'It's true

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"