Numbers Aficionado Gifts

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

"There's choclate smeared all over your manuscript! Have these figures been fudged?!"

'I used to be dull and boring then, one day, I discovered accountancy.'

'But I'm twice the man he is!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

The Life of Pi

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Staff Yearbook

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Warning: Math Ahead!

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Reign Man

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

Pi fight!

How Romans give each other a high five...

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Mathematician's Rap.'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'