Paint-by-numbers Enthusiast Gifts

Silhouette-by-number.

Paint by Numbers.

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Staff Yearbook

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Warning: Math Ahead!

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Reign Man

Hazards of mouse painting

"My method of painting is pointillism."

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

Artist Retrospective.

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

Alberto Giacometti.

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

Ceiling Paint

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'You never smile at me like that!'

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."