Pain Relief Humorist Gifts

Self help acupuncture

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"How long have I had what problem?"

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Computer help.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.