Headache Humorist Gifts

Headache.

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"To think our very existence hinges on your bloody headache!"

Health Insurance Awards Hangover.

'...can you feel an ache avalanching in my head?'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Psychobabble.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Fakir Shrink.

Shrink's Summer Job

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

Safe harbour

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."