Headache Humor Aficionado Gifts

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Psychobabbling brook.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

Fakir Shrink.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Psychobabble.

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

Shrink's Summer Job

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"You're getting too much fiber."

'Miss Caldwell, call security and send in the kleptomaniac.'

"To think our very existence hinges on your bloody headache!"

'Your case is extremely interesting...and I would like to get it produced...it will be a comedy.'

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

'It's paranoia, but a very benign form - he thinks Al Gore is out to get him.'

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

'Well - the layman's terminology for your condition is 'nutty as an acorn''

'Maybe all I really need is a hug.'

I heard you've to an awful, mysterious pain in the side of your face. Yeah. You can try the modern approach, drug yourself silly so you don't feel the pain. You know a better way, Sadie? Well, in your case, I'd suggest going with the tried and true cure-all: Drill a hole in your head to let out the demons. No need. You're already out. That's ... Well-played, nemesis. Well-played.

It's called Pagliacci therapy, Al. We're going to replace all of your petty little neuroses with one big, healthy, all-consuming fear of clowns.