Headache Humor Aficionado Gifts

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Psychobabbling brook.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Psychobabble.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

Fakir Shrink.

Shrink's Summer Job

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

"You're getting too much fiber."

'Miss Caldwell, call security and send in the kleptomaniac.'

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

"To think our very existence hinges on your bloody headache!"

'Your case is extremely interesting...and I would like to get it produced...it will be a comedy.'

'Well - the layman's terminology for your condition is 'nutty as an acorn''

'It's paranoia, but a very benign form - he thinks Al Gore is out to get him.'

'Maybe all I really need is a hug.'

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!