Pain Humorist Gifts

'Does your tooth still hurt?' - 'I dunno, the dentist kept it.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

Basketball injuries.

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

"To think our very existence hinges on your bloody headache!"

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

"I meet a lot of women in my work but I'm not good at forming long-lasting relationships."

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'I'm not overweight you know? I'm just big boned.'

WD40

'No I won't kiss it better!'

'He tried to jump over the net.'

"I think the man in the corner may have the covid."