Pain Relief Humorist Mugs

I heard you've to an awful, mysterious pain in the side of your face. Yeah. You can try the modern approach, drug yourself silly so you don't feel the pain. You know a better way, Sadie? Well, in your case, I'd suggest going with the tried and true cure-all: Drill a hole in your head to let out the demons. No need. You're already out. That's ... Well-played, nemesis. Well-played.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Self help acupuncture

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"How long have I had what problem?"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Computer help.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."