Pageant Royalty Gifts

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

'And who are you wearing?'

Hospital gown pageant.

'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

Circus Pageant

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Miss America IQ pageant.

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Beauty contest

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Beauty Contest

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Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.