Pageant Contestant Gifts

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

Circus Pageant

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Model's aspirations

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Beauty contest

Miss America IQ pageant.

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

Beauty Contest

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Meet Miss Subways

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

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