Pageant Princess Gifts

'I flunked all my subjects, but I won 'Miss Congeniality.''

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Circus Pageant

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Model's aspirations

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Beauty contest

Miss America IQ pageant.

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Meet Miss Subways

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'