Pageant Princess Pillows

'I flunked all my subjects, but I won 'Miss Congeniality.''

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Circus Pageant

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Beauty contest

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Meet Miss Subways

Beauty Contest

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