Pageant Queen Pillows

"You know that beauty contest they're having in the Ritz ballroom Saturday afternoon? I won it tonight."

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Beauty contest

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

"He used to be in the Props Dept. at his church's Christmas Pageant."

Uncle Tom

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

7th annual weird fishes pageant

Beauty Contest