Pageant Performer Pillows

"I do believe that story gets more 'n' more interesting every time I hear it, Mr. Van Winkle! Why, a natural born performer like yourself couldn't help but make a wonderful Father Christmas in this year's pageant!"

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Miss America IQ Pageant

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Circus Pageant

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Model's aspirations

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

Blank Inside

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

Beauty Contest

Uncle Tom

7th annual weird fishes pageant

"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."

"As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think."

Sweet bird of youth annual pageant

"My wife enters every competition going."

"Do you suppose she's Miss Egypt?"

"I think I'm in the wrong place, and yet I do not care."