Beauty Pageant Contestant Pillows

"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."

Model's aspirations

'In my country, I'm all for the marriage of bleach and silicone.'

Blank Inside

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

The return of Miss Subways

Hospital gown pageant.

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Circus Pageant

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Beauty contest

Miss America IQ pageant.

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

Beauty Contest

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Meet Miss Subways