Beauty Pageant Contestant Mugs

"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."

Model's aspirations

'In my country, I'm all for the marriage of bleach and silicone.'

Blank Inside

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

The return of Miss Subways

Circus Pageant

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Beauty contest

Miss America IQ pageant.

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Beauty Contest

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

Meet Miss Subways

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Miss Universe Contest.