Beauty Pageant Judge Pillows

"I think I'm in the wrong place, and yet I do not care."

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

The return of Miss Subways

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

Circus Pageant

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

Model's aspirations

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Beauty contest

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Cinderella and her Equally Attractive Stepsisters

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

Beauty Contest

Blank Inside

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Meet Miss Subways

"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."