Pageant Judge Pillows

'Never mind prize money, I think we should actually fine her!'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

Here's How The Next Miss America Will Be Chosen

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Opear Audition. What is he going to sing? It says "Aria 51."

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Beauty Contest

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Blank Inside

Dreams of being a beauty queen

"As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think."

"My wife enters every competition going."