Pageant Royalty Pillows

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

'And who are you wearing?'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Miss America IQ pageant.

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Beauty contest

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Blank Inside

Beauty Contest

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

Uncle Tom

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'