Page-turner Philosopher Gifts

Salon of Apartment 4-N

Pigeon Little

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Reverse psychology

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Religion & Economics.

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether money can buy happiness."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"It Works For Us."

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"So anyway, I found a worm on the path the other day and carried it to safety. Then I hear: 'Hey! I was heading the other way!"