Overdue Book Humorist Gifts

"Carrie, I told you that if I returned your library books that late that there would be hell to pay."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'Hard to follow...'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Kultural K9's.

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art though, Romeo? Seriously, wherefore art thou? Shakespeare in the Dark.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Call me Ishmael."

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.