Outdoorsy Onlooker Gifts

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Bring your own inflatable.

Allotment

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"It's such a lovely day!"

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

Fly Fishing

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

'More bubbles!'

Fishing sign.

Duck Hunt

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

The Brothers Grime

Country Bumpkin.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Tallyho!"

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

Bike Rides

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"