Outdoorsman Gifts

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

"Good shootin', son. I'm pretty sure that was a squirrel."

'That's one heck of a recoil, Bob!'

'Why not start with catching something easy... like a cold?'

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'Check it out, Ted... Dinner AND dessert!'

'Be right back, Bob... I need to visit the other tree!'

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

Spring turkey season has Pete super paranoid...

"Somehow, this just don't seem sportin', Jake."

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

'Great job! ? take the rest of the day off!'

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

I can hear growling, but I can't see the bear.

'Call me crazy, Earl, but I get the feeling those ducks were expecting us!'

'She wants a small pocket knife.'

'I fell out of my treestand but fortunately nothing got hurt.'

'Oh, that's brilliant, Gary. Keep it up. Thrash around. Whimper and moan. Make sure that every animal in the woods knows we're coming!'

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

Paul Bunyon, Castaway

'This will be the last time I ever put you in charge of getting the duck boat.'

While hunting, Brad finds bear signs. (hunter in woods looking at toilet paper roll on a branch)

'I'm sure looking forward to this mountain goat hunt. How about you, Ben?'

"The trick is to always carry some ground pepper and throw it behind you to stop the bloodhounds from following your scent. . ."

The camouflage skills Norman had practised in the living room were to prove ineffective in the wild.

'I bought the plaque before leaving on my hunting trip... Needless to say, I was hoping for a better outcome.'

"A strange thing. When I bagged him, he had this roll of toilet tissue in his paw."

'We're going into cold water and HE'S drinking the hot chocolate!'

The Easter Bunny hits a hunter with his eggs and makes his escape.

'Ed missed a nice trout in that hole last week. He takes everything personally.'

'Blah! You have duck breath!'

'Look, you hunt deer your way and I'll hunt them my way.'

Spiro & Pusho cook a chicken on a volcano

'I'm a hunter with gatherer tendencies...'