Outdoor Performer Gifts

"They told me I was going places. They just never told me where."

Bert's Ragtime Band.

Musical Scythe

"Dad, it's only a surveillance camera."

Piano in a pond

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Canape?

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

"I love your work!"

Playing pig

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Apple harvest."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

Leaf blowers at dawn.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Hello, Ralph? Come on over and bring a ladder, I have one up a tree.'

Colay's glass bottom boat tours!

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

Barry's new George Foreman Grill warned him anytime the meat was being overcooked.

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

Orienteering 101

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

Painter Sheltering Under His Canvas.

Real violinist replaces a statue.

Man Painting Road.

"Honey - get the smoke can. The guests are starting to swarm all over the bee hives again."

Paint-By-Numbers in Nature