Outdoor Improviser Gifts

Sprinkler dish washing.

Skiing.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

Canape?

Irritable trowel syndrome.

The Hammer

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

"I love your work!"

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Have you farted. . . ?"

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

Campground Conductor

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

Spider Web Musical Score.

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

Fish Training

Fly fishing.