Outdoor Entertainers Gifts

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Beach Barbecue

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Canape?

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

Beer Garden Kit

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'How are they biting?'

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

"Honey - get the smoke can. The guests are starting to swarm all over the bee hives again."

"I heard you had a little problem with the law."

River Source

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'