Outdoor Event Enthusiast Gifts

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Bring your own inflatable.

Allotment

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Fly Fishing

"It's such a lovely day!"

'More bubbles!'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

Fishing sign.

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

Country Bumpkin.

The Brothers Grime

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

Bike Rides

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"